Doctors, dentist and mouthworkers suck

Day 5 of dental hell.

Day 5 of dental hell.  I have passed duck-face to pumpkin head.  Please just kill me now.  Endodontist assistant called and asked how I was.  Pain, melon-head syndrome, just fine.  She said I better come in.  NOOOO please.  Come in- just in case. I went.  Looking like a swollen gourd.  With bruises.  Of course, add on the Clara Bow lips, and you now know why I agreed.   Dr. looked at my mouth and face and said.  All is fine, it is just trauma. - Just trauma.  WTF is "just trauma?"  I thought you might be admitting me to the hospital.  No.   Just take these pain pills and come in Monday.  But...  I look worse than my dog did when he was snake bit.   Dr.- oh no, you are fine, it is just trauma. We did quite a lot of work on you. Really?... Just trauma? Yes, just trauma. 
   
Since I have "trauma", and really feel traumatized, can't you just  admit me to the hospital-they can keep me on an IV drip and allow no visitors.  I can eat ice cream.  He said, no really you are doing well, you will be fine, it is looking good.  I said to assistant, what drugs is he on?  He is prescribing me some for the pain, I want some of those.



   

Riding the Wave

Hurt. Pain. Tears so like a river; flowing over the banks and making me almost sick.  Too much to bear.  No more dreams.  No more love.  I so love him.  I do not know what to do.   So many good friends.  How can one person acting out her grief against me, make me doubt me, cause me such pain?   Bring me to my knees again. Am I so weak?  I feel so strong and then, . . I cannot feel anything but pain, loss, such grief there is no end. When will the tears stop?  When can I get a dream back.  I go from feeling like life is out there, I just need to try harder to reach it, I start creating something positive --then the bottom goes.  I fall.  I fall so far. I fall so very far...  Is there really a bottom?  Do I still have further to fall.. oh my God, please do not let me fall more.  I cannot take it.  I have never never felt this much pain.  Please.    Please.  Please.  Let me heal.  Help me heal.  Give me a dream.  I cannot say goodbye to him yet.  It is too much.  Too soon.  I  know so many are suffering, grieving, also. I know. I truly do.   I want to help but I cannot seem to get myself back.  I must stop this grief before it leaves me  in pieces that cannot be gathered back.   Oh God, please.