Revised Bullets revised again 6-27-21 revised 3-28-23

Sometimes the sadness runs like river.
Deep deep currents blue.
Pulls me down to the bottom
Torments me through.
Current holds me fast
Staring at my past.

Deep the rage
No way out
Fuuuucck
Scream so loud.

See the bullets.
Shiny and new.
Dump the bucket
Sort through.

Take the bullets out
Look at the shiny tip,
Shiny brass reflection death.
Dump a whole bucket on my fears.
Let loose a bucket of tears.
Leave the bullets near.

Look at brass, look at steel.
Think of loss.
Do not feel.
Is any of this real?

Dump the bucket
Look around,
Fuck it.


Take a bullet to the river
Not one arrow in the quiver
No gun.  No rifle. No bow.
No weapon necessary to ruin a life.
Nothing but hatred, rage and strife.

Bullets of rage.
Bullets of despair.
Bullets find a target.
Everywhere.

What direction do I take
To find the end?

Notes- more editing

Leave the place to see new faces.

New spaces.

All the same.
New place, same game.

 Wrap up my pain,     REDONE FROM May 2020

Make it all shiny bright.
Etch it with your name. 
Tie it up so very tight.

Stitch it with living thread.
Let it not escape into the night.
Place it open by the bed.
Out. In plain sight.

Sign your pain in my blood.
Drip it over me. 
Let it flow, become a flood.
Splash it high for all to see.

The loss
it so shattered.
Left floating pieces of my soul.
Like
nothing
else mattered.
Not one piece left whole.

I wanted to live wild.
We both reached for the top.
You were brought down,
Me, I could not stop.

Racing the wind, being wild and free,
Comes with a price
A price most cannot see. 

You fly. You fall.
I scream.  I call.

But no one answers.
You are never there.
I have searched long,
Searched everywhere.

Trying hard to regain.
All that was lost.

To find myself,
before the pain.
To love again,
despite the cost.

Other updated

We do not want Them next to us.
We cannot help. Not here not now.
We can not have Them,
They are not US
They are Other.

We are not like Them, Please understand.
They are not brother.
We cannot see them.
We could not be them.
They are Other.

Send them back....Now...
Now, beat the drums of fear.
You never know what they bring,
 Evil...
we have none here.

Send them back. It is only right.
It is not that We do not care.
We will surely send up prayer.
"Dear God almighty, please help them."
But not here.
They must stay there.

Not our problem
Them we do not see.
Someone else must...
Must give them our dark mercy.
They are Other.

Who are they? To dare,
To dare knock upon our door?
We can not open it. Never, never, never.
Not to refugees, lost and poor.
Not to people of color.  Nor,
Any who question, For.
They are Other.

Sitting righteous in our creed.
Sitting in our place of greed.
Church loving-God fearing.
Believing holy what we read. But...
...They are different. They are Other.

Bowing heads. Raising temples.
Yes, we're quite an example.
Our backs turning cold with fear,
Let us be! We are safe here.

FREE FROM OTHER

13 Moons (c) 2016

Death

Icy fingers wrap around my neck.

Trace your name onto my soul, etch loss deep in my veins.

Leave not one single tear unshed.

Regret not your choice of death.

Grip my soul to make it yours.
Cleave to me in one final breath.

Inflated Balloon Breast Implant Caper

The Inflated Balloon Breast Implant Caper. 
It was a very snowy evening in Colorado near Christmastime.  Once again, the main players were at the Tugboat Saloon.  I do not think that many of my friends know that Tanya Tucker and I were friends in the 70's. This was pre-Glen Campbell who I think was the worst mistake of her life- however, I digress. ) I was working at the Saloon in my career choice at that time - cocktail waitress. Our plan was for me to be dressed in black. So I was. Tanya was to come in later and also be dressed in black. So she did. Tanya being the beautiful and crazy woman she is, decided her outfit needed a bit of ooomph. At the appointed hour she arrived. I brought her a chilled lager and sat down with her. She looked a bit different. More ala Dolly Parton than Delta Dawn. Everyone was staring at her. Nothing unusual with that. Black tight sweater, black pants, silver belt and cowboy boots. And triple double E's. She adjusted her new triple doubles but one drifted to her waist. Since breast implant surgery was still in its infancy, I was not perturbed. It must need a bit more research. She carefully adjusted the doubles again. This time they floated up near her collar bones. Her cleavage was remarkable. I, as usual, said nothing, I swear. Most of the men's eyes were riveted on me-of course- not. Eyes went wide with admiration, then in amazement. The doubles were all over. They had a life of their own. So because this kind of surgery is reversible, she took a pin and inserted it into the left one. Bang. The Saloon patrons jumped in unison with a gasp. As it is much easier to control one errant breast than two, she kept the one. The uni-breast look was semi in place for the remainder of the evening. Until we made a fateful decision. Snow angels. We decided to run outside and jump into the very deep snow bank to make snow angels. One normal and one uni-breast angel. However, sadly, the faulty implant burst, the snow angels disappeared as we rolled down the snow bank in laughter. We returned to the Saloon with Tanya sans balloon implant. And this is a true story. It is how I used to roll, and still do. (c) 

We Missed You

We missed you, my dear, this Christmas Day.
Seems years long, since you went away.
Leaving this valley where we used to roam.
The special one we call home.

Everywhere I look, I remember you.
In the faces, the smiles of friends we both knew.
In the places and the spaces
Where we ran and grew.

The first ski race
The day I fell for you.
In every memory
In every breath I drew.
I knew some day
You would love me too.

A reflection of your face
Comes across my mind.
I know if you had the choice
You would not leave us all behind.

Being in this valley on Christmas Day.
Makes me know in every way
How very blessed we both were
To savor life here in a blur.

We missed you, my dear, this Christmas Day
Your friends, me and your children two.
We loved you, my dear, in every way.
Thankful for each precious day.

So this night a glass we shall lift,
To the joy and the gift
You gave to us with your love
Even now from above.

Lesley M Mercill 2015 (c)

Remember parties on spring gulch
Sledding down the pass
Kisses in moonlight
Time fleeing by so fast.

Blood Ivory

Look out with newborn eyes' first awe.
Feel the hard beat of land so raw,
Sense the breadth of its bare soul. 
Feel it pierce above. Below.

We knew not the cost for man,
To walk, to gaze upon this land.
Land built on bones, hide and dust,
Remaining witness to unholy lust.

Evil ones who kill and maim,
Taking down in sport insane.
Leaving rhino souls in graves unjust.
Bought down to powdered, crumbled dust.

Ancient shadows walking through,
Looking out from the bush, straight at you.
Apparitions living, yet ghosts of past,
Not knowing if this breath will be the last.

Watching those who aid the damning lie,
Seeing rhinos shot, stumble, and die,
Blood ivory stolen, slashed off for gold.
God damn those with hearts so cold.

One by one, horn by horn, their spirits go.
Human greed may leave us none,
This great armored-one of the past,
Laid low to lust and avarice.

Spirit asks we honor those ancient ones killed,
Humanity end now the blood-ocean spilled.
A sacred promise there forever be,
Rhinos wild...African and free.