The Inflated Balloon Breast Implant Caper.
It was a very snowy evening in Colorado near Christmastime. Once again, the main players were at the Tugboat Saloon. I do not think that many of my friends know that Tanya Tucker and I were friends in the 70's. This was pre-Glen Campbell who I think was the worst mistake of her life- however, I digress. ) I was working at the Saloon in my career choice at that time - cocktail waitress. Our plan was for me to be dressed in black. So I was. Tanya was to come in later and also be dressed in black. So she did. Tanya being the beautiful and crazy woman she is, decided her outfit needed a bit of ooomph. At the appointed hour she arrived. I brought her a chilled lager and sat down with her. She looked a bit different. More ala Dolly Parton than Delta Dawn. Everyone was staring at her. Nothing unusual with that. Black tight sweater, black pants, silver belt and cowboy boots. And triple double E's. She adjusted her new triple doubles but one drifted to her waist. Since breast implant surgery was still in its infancy, I was not perturbed. It must need a bit more research. She carefully adjusted the doubles again. This time they floated up near her collar bones. Her cleavage was remarkable. I, as usual, said nothing, I swear. Most of the men's eyes were riveted on me-of course- not. Eyes went wide with admiration, then in amazement. The doubles were all over. They had a life of their own. So because this kind of surgery is reversible, she took a pin and inserted it into the left one. Bang. The Saloon patrons jumped in unison with a gasp. As it is much easier to control one errant breast than two, she kept the one. The uni-breast look was semi in place for the remainder of the evening. Until we made a fateful decision. Snow angels. We decided to run outside and jump into the very deep snow bank to make snow angels. One normal and one uni-breast angel. However, sadly, the faulty implant burst, the snow angels disappeared as we rolled down the snow bank in laughter. We returned to the Saloon with Tanya sans balloon implant. And this is a true story. It is how I used to roll, and still do. (c)
It was a very snowy evening in Colorado near Christmastime. Once again, the main players were at the Tugboat Saloon. I do not think that many of my friends know that Tanya Tucker and I were friends in the 70's. This was pre-Glen Campbell who I think was the worst mistake of her life- however, I digress. ) I was working at the Saloon in my career choice at that time - cocktail waitress. Our plan was for me to be dressed in black. So I was. Tanya was to come in later and also be dressed in black. So she did. Tanya being the beautiful and crazy woman she is, decided her outfit needed a bit of ooomph. At the appointed hour she arrived. I brought her a chilled lager and sat down with her. She looked a bit different. More ala Dolly Parton than Delta Dawn. Everyone was staring at her. Nothing unusual with that. Black tight sweater, black pants, silver belt and cowboy boots. And triple double E's. She adjusted her new triple doubles but one drifted to her waist. Since breast implant surgery was still in its infancy, I was not perturbed. It must need a bit more research. She carefully adjusted the doubles again. This time they floated up near her collar bones. Her cleavage was remarkable. I, as usual, said nothing, I swear. Most of the men's eyes were riveted on me-of course- not. Eyes went wide with admiration, then in amazement. The doubles were all over. They had a life of their own. So because this kind of surgery is reversible, she took a pin and inserted it into the left one. Bang. The Saloon patrons jumped in unison with a gasp. As it is much easier to control one errant breast than two, she kept the one. The uni-breast look was semi in place for the remainder of the evening. Until we made a fateful decision. Snow angels. We decided to run outside and jump into the very deep snow bank to make snow angels. One normal and one uni-breast angel. However, sadly, the faulty implant burst, the snow angels disappeared as we rolled down the snow bank in laughter. We returned to the Saloon with Tanya sans balloon implant. And this is a true story. It is how I used to roll, and still do. (c)
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